Thursday, August 20, 2009

What is to come for my third year

So I am all done with half of my doctoral education and I am trying to gather all the things that I have learned and I feel a little worked up because I feel like I haven't learned a great deal.  It probably stems from the fact that I am somewhat of a perfectionist but who knows.  My summer break actually went really really well.  I had my first opp holding my nephews and niece and it was such an exposing experience.  I say exposing because I am now so exposed to the fact that I am completely not ready for children at this point in my life.  I see how happy my sisters are with their little ones but I also see how much energy it consumes and how limited a persons life becomes after kids.  Mike would be a great father, I have no doubt about that.  I guess that perhaps I am a little anxious about how I would be as a father. I didn't have what people would call a rough childhood but I did have an unusual one.  I felt like my childhood is woven with experiences of happiness and sorrow.  I understand that everyone has rough spots along their life journies but something made me grow up differently to the point where I wonder if I could be as good of a father as I would like to be.
Mike is still in spokane and I am here in florida by myself until friday.  We are moving in with our friends ben and jen and I am really excited about having more company.  I will say that there is the presence of curiosity to see how smoothly these next series of months will unfold.
O m g...so I totally lost my first ring that mike gave to me while I was taking a shower.  I was so upset because that's the ring that he gave me at disneyworld during the fireworks show.  Its okay because my new ring was given to me in orange county under the disneyLAND fireworks :)  I really am so lucky to have met mike....he's made me grow emotionally as a person and without him I don't think I would be where I am at today in my life.  

I'm going to end this blog post with the optimism that the semester will go smoothly without too many hitches...I just have to stay on top of everything...and I will try my hardest to I swear.